CITP

I decided to tackle Church in the Park today. I'm a little (ok, VERY) nervous about it. My biggest fear is, well, actually, I have two big fears. The first one is that I will have a full on body convulsion (not a seizure per the doc, since I'm lucid the entire time, but it looks like one). I'm worried I will have one of those and someone will call 911. No matter what you tell people, when you have over 200 people in one location and something like that happens, someone is bound to pull out their phone whether we ask them to or not, so I'm praying I can avoid that.
My second fear has more to do with my pride. I'm worried about what people will think. I'm worried they will think that I am going to the park to get attention, so people can dote on me and that I should just stay home and not cause a ruckus. I have pondered whether or not to go back and forth and back and forth, but ultimately, what won out for me is that one of the things I value the most about CITP is that it is a come as you are church. Today, I'm physically a mess, but I want, I NEED to be with my family. So I'm trying to put on my big girl panties and not give a darn what people think, not care whether they look at me as an attention seeker or not, but to be honest, I am terrified of what certain people will think, which just goes to show that I'm still a work in progress, with a need for lots and lots and lots of progress.