One of the survival skills I have learned in dealing with my depression is to identify upcoming triggers and prepare for them, be it by journaling ahead of time, asking for prayer support and/or slating out time in my day to process whatever is going to occur. I've also learned not to walk into situations full of triggers without a "safe" person, someone who knows me completely and still loves me, right by my side. Sometimes, however, storms can come up out of the blue, grab you up in the whirlwind and spit you out on the other side, leaving you to wonder what in the world just happened.
Yesterday was one of those days for me. I was just going along with my day, thankful for all of the healing and change that has taken place since my jaunt in the looney bin when suddenly, out of nowhere it seemed, an old wound was ripped open, a new wound created and I was left a weeping mess wondering how I got taken so off guard.
Last night, I was thankful for sleeping pills. Not to ignore my problems, but to put them off long enough to get the sleep that I need to face the after-effects of yesterday's storm. This morning, I am thankful for lazy Saturday mornings that allow me to pray, to journal, and try to make sense of the renewed pain. *Sigh* Sometimes I get really, really tired of this journey. Today, I'm holding to Matthew 11:28.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
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